Noticing a whistling sound and poor airflow in her air ducts, Ms. Veronica Rarcher did what most people would and called a ventilation company to clean her ventilation ducts.
Mr. Troy Sweep showed up and started immediately got to work, noting that the ducts seemed clean at first glance. The duct in question was in Ms. Rarcher’s ceiling; Mr. Sweep diligently climbed up on a ladder, undid the screws, and was promptly pounced upon by a 100lbs military-grade drone falling through the new opening. The drone fell on Mr. Sweeps, causing him to fall off his ladder.
After inspection, the drone showed itself to be one of the NYPD’s new assault drones. The weaponized drone had gotten stuck and then abandoned in the building following the daring robbery of the penthouse floor by a gang of masked thieves. We reached out to the NYPD regarding how they failed to account for this expensive piece of tech and what their guidelines say regarding abandoning the drone’s attached weaponry. The NYPD has declined to comment.
An upset Ms. Rarcher with the drone in question.
When this story was made public, Scry Digital CEO Andrew Kang got involved on his now infamous X account. Claiming that the cause of Mr. Sweeps’ injury as well as the armed robbery of the penthouse in Ms. Rarcher’s apartment, were the same villains that caused the precipitous drop in Scry Digital’s market value earlier in the year. The police have not confirmed Mr. Kang’s assertion and have declined to comment on the story.
Heard about a penthouse getting robbed. The useless NYPD don’t know who did it. I’m gonna give them a hint. It rhymes with MAYDAY BANG! #fckclowns #thecopsneedtodotheirjob
— ScryDigital (@ScryDigital) June 4, 2024
The fall injured Mr. Sweeps, who says he intends to sue the NYPD for medical bills, work-related trauma as well as pain and suffering.