From AI and Cloud to Crypto and Crypt-lows, get all the latest Tech news here.
Thursday, December 12 2024
Wixia’s Failed Smartwatch Rebrands As High-End Dog Collar
In a pivot that screams, “If you can’t beat them, collar them”, tech giant Wixia has decided to salvage its luxury smartwatch disaster by transforming it into a line of premium dog collars.... Read More
Wednesday, October 30 2024
Crafting Chaos: The Skunk Gun Crime Wave Strikes NYC
In a strange turn of events, the cost of resin has skyrocketed as criminals craft skunk-shaped guns, an affront to safety and olfactory senses.... Read More
Monday, September 16 2024
Robert Banks Signs 10-year Contract To Voice Quantz Tech
Ever want to get more of known drug-fiend Robert Banks in your life? Me neither, but here we go.... Read More
Monday, September 16 2024
Like Lazarus, Andrew Kang Rises From The Dead To Reclaim CEO Throne At ScryDigital
Just when the ScryDigital soap opera seemed to be wrapping up, Andrew Kang smashed through the boardroom’s glass doors—literally—and declared himself CEO once more, only days after his unceremonious exit.... Read More
Saturday, September 14 2024
Rydfly’s Bathtub Speaker Shocks Users – Literally
A floating speaker for a bit of bathtub music, not a bad idea! Having it connected to a wall-socket while it bobs around… worse.... Read More
Saturday, September 14 2024
Wixia Launches VR Headset, Instant Catastrophe
In what can only be described as a tech disaster, Wixia—the same company once caught mining crypto through innocent-looking screensavers (and hilariously paying off their lawsuit in crypto)—has now flopped with their latest venture: the Wixia Immersio VR headset.... Read More
Friday, September 13 2024
Andrew Kang Steps Down as CEO of ScryDigital Amid Kang Coin Fallout
Andrew Kang, the now-former CEO of ScryDigital, has officially stepped down following the turbulent aftermath of his cryptocurrency venture, “Kang Coin.”... Read More
Friday, September 13 2024
Rydfly’s Annoying New Feature Causes Recall
Inspired by the Japanese tradition of yomawari (night watch), volunteers called shōbōdan (volunteer corps) clack together hyōshigi (wooden blocks tied together with string) to remind their neighborhoods to be weary of fire.... Read More
Friday, September 13 2024
A Safe That Tries To Get Somewhere Safe?
Can’t break in to something you can’t catch. In a surprising twist for the world of high-security, Titan, the company famous for its indestructible cameras and vaults, has announced a new development: safes that literally run away when under threat.... Read More
Thursday, September 12 2024
Wixia’s Payment Doesn’t Dent Their Holdings
Wixia pays off the entirety of the lawsuit against them using only a fraction of its crypto portfolio.... Read More
Thursday, September 12 2024
Binecom Invests In Old Tech
Binecom bafflingly invests heavily in the return of the cassette tape. Binecom, known for technical innovation and a giant library of gadgets spanning over sixty years, has recently spent millions on a new facility producing… cassette tapes.... Read More
Thursday, September 12 2024
HAAB Launches Groundbreaking Tongue Scanner—Because Apparently, Licking Your Front Door Is the Future of Home Security
In a bold move no one really asked for, HAAB has just introduced the latest in biometric security: the tongue scanner.... Read More
Wednesday, September 11 2024
Investors Shocked as “Kang Coin” Crashes Faster Than Your Weekend Plans, Fraud Accusations Fly
For the third time in a week, Andrew Kang, CEO of ScryDigital, is back in the headlines—this time, it’s not just for bad business decisions, but possibly for something illegal.... Read More
Tuesday, September 10 2024
Tech Company Rydfly Refuses to Address “Possessed” Bluetooth Speakers
In a shocking turn of events, tech giant Rydfly is staying suspiciously silent amid a flood of complaints about their latest product, “The Big Bang” Bluetooth speaker.... Read More
Saturday, September 7 2024
Woman permanently blinded by eye scanner
An eye-opening incident caused by a faulty eye scanner has damaged the vision of a bank worker for life. Read More
Saturday, September 7 2024
Wixia screensaver found to be crypto mining
The origin of Wixias recent crypto assets has been made clear as they face a class-action lawsuit for crypto mining their client's computers via their screensaver. Read More
Saturday, September 7 2024
New Morsley client expected to cause uptick
Security camera company Morsley's future looks bright after their latest quarterly report. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
CenNive fans actually not fans
The electronics company CenNive is in hot water after an airless discovery. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
“Unhackable” Security System Cracked by 19-Year-Old During Hackathon
A 19-year-old Brooklyn student effortlessly hacked ViaLock’s "unhackable" system during a company-hosted hackathon. Read More
Tuesday, June 11 2024
AI Surveillance – An Infringement on Our Integrity?
With the recent uptick in artificial intelligence, the technology has now gnawed its way into public spaces – and our integrity.... Read More
Tuesday, June 4 2024
Woman finds military-grade drone equipped with guns in her ventilation
Noticing a whistling sound and poor airflow in her air ducts, Ms. Veronica Rarcher did what most people would and called a ventilation company to clean her ventilation ducts.... Read More
Wednesday, May 22 2024
Enough to make you Scry
Following the bold daylight raid by armed assailants against the Scry Digital NYC data center last year, CEO Andrew Kang has doubled down on his commitment to AI-based security solutions.... Read More