Friday, September 13 2024
Story by Johnathan Goldman, ,

Almendia Driver Carries Load… Of Pleasure

In an unexpected turn of events, an Almendia delivery driver was caught using his work van for more than just deliveries.

The situation came to light when a police officer stopped the driver after hearing “unusual sounds” coming from the back of the van. The source of the noise turned out to be anything but standard delivery equipment. Instead of packages, the van’s interior was equipped with a black leather couch, mood lighting, and an old camcorder. When questioned, the driver claimed it was all for his “acting classes,” but struggled to explain the presence of numerous boxes of lotion and paper towels. Really? You can explain the camcorder but not actual carco? Schmuck. Anyway, Almendia is now scrambling to address the scandal. “We assure our customers that our delivery service is strictly professional,” a company spokesperson stated, although it’s clear their definition of “professional” is currently being redefined.

Unsurprisingly, shareholders aren’t thrilled. Almendia’s public image, much like that back of the van, is in for a messy cleanup.