Saturday, September 7 2024
Story by Stefan Laurence,

GenSec hirings, and stock, soares

GenSec reaches new heights after a small job listing has found traction.

Security company GenSec is experiencing a hiring frenzy after a recent job ad went viral. Posted in The Gateway Report’s contact ads section, the ad has applicants swarming in, thanks to its irresistible offer: $60 an hour, hazard pay, and a yearly survival bonus—no qualifications required.

Norm (pictured), a long-suffering GenSec guard and the ad’s contact person, is overwhelmed. “I’m super stressed. I don’t even know why I’m going through these applications if we’re hiring anyone with a pulse, but my boss insists,” he laments.

Norm’s been through it all—disappearing paintings, jewelry cases left mysteriously empty after bathroom breaks, and, of course, the occasional bank robbery shootout. “Honestly, I just hide in the bathroom and wait it out,” he admits. “What are they gonna do, fire me? People are dropping left and right, so they need me more than I need them.”

Oddly enough, nowhere in the ad does it even mention that GenSec is the employer, leaving Norm to juggle dodging bullets and convincing applicants it’s not a scam. Still, despite the job’s rather grim realities, GenSec’s stock is skyrocketing. Investors are hailing the company’s “honest and brave” approach to hiring, proving that in the security world, survival bonuses are apparently great for business.