Famous porch pirate and content creator JohnnyNabbs was shot and killed yesterday in a New Jersey suburban home while attempting to steal a new delivery of diapers, causing Almendia delivery drivers and customers alike to rejoice.
It was shaping up to be just another beautiful day when Almendia delivery truck driver Tuck Driver pulled up to deliver diapers to a mother with a newborn. But as he made his way back to the truck, his instincts kicked in—he spotted a suspicious rustling in the bushes. Enter JohnnyNabbs (pictured), sprinting toward the porch with camera in hand. Tuck, who’s an ex-Marine, pulled his handgun and swiftly ended JohnnyNabbs’ criminal career for good. “F*ck with Tuck, and your luck is f*cked”, Tuck said in a (frankly weird) statement to The Gateway Report.
As news of Tuck’s “heroics” spread, Almendia’s stock is looking to prove that sometimes good PR is just a well-placed shot away.