Thursday, September 5 2024
Story by Ryan Cooper,

Buffler Unveils New Sedan, Declares It “The Future of Mediocrity”

Buffler’s latest sedan, touted as “perfectly adequate,” sends stock prices climbing.

Even though you’re not familiar with cars, you may have heard of Buffler. The car brand, often referring to themselves as “the car brand known for getting you from A to B with minimal fuss, has just announced their newest sedan model, proudly branding it “The Future of Mediocrity.” The announcement, made with a straight face, is inexplicably driving the company’s stock up, as investors eagerly embrace Buffler’s commitment to delivering just enough.

The new model promises to do everything a car should—nothing more, nothing less—while offering “”cutting-edge”” features like power windows and a steering wheel that actually turns. With a price tag that says, “This will do,” the sedan is expected to hit the sweet spot for those who prefer their transportation unremarkable yet reliable.

As Buffler rides the wave of enthusiasm, it seems mediocrity might just be the new black, and the stock market is loving every minute of it.