Monday, September 9 2024
Story by Caroline Donetti,

GenSec Guard Caught “Guarding the Wrong Thing”

An anonymous tip has GenSec reeling after a guard was found in a compromising situation, but was it all just a big misunderstanding?

A GenSec guard at Surphaze Art Gallery was allegedly caught with his pants down—literally. In an anonymous tip sent to The Gateway Report, an employee, “Steve,” claimed the guard was acting suspiciously, swiping away on his phone before heading to the bathroom.

“I just knew something shady was going on,” said Steve, who followed the guard into the restroom and found him… well, sitting on the toilet with his phone out. Naturally, the accusations of “browsing porn on the clock” started flying.

GenSec, however, isn’t buying it. “He was playing a mobile game while, to be frank, shitting” said HR rep Sarah Smith. “Honestly, Steve’s the one who needs to explain why he’s barging into bathrooms based on a hunch.”

Our anonymous source managed to get a snapshot of the guard in question (pictured), before the bathroom incident even took place. It does indeed smell fishy here, and discussions here at Gateway Report offices have been going wild about which party is right.

Still, the damage is done. GenSec’s stock is taking a nosedive as rumors swirl that their guards are more interested in their screens than securing the premises.