In yet another bizarre twist for Almendia, one of their delivery drivers is making headlines—not for his impeccable delivery record, but for crashing his truck and being engulfed in what turned out to be an airbag stuffed with cocaine.
The driver, en route to deliver latex gloves, was allegedly distracted by what he described as “masked individuals in dapper clothing jumping into a van” before hitting a pothole and losing control of the vehicle. Upon impact, the airbag deployed, only to explode in a cloud of white powder, transforming the driver’s cabin into an impromptu disco. Local news reporters rushed to the scene, interviewing the driver, who was not only unharmed but also disturbingly enthusiastic. “Wow, what a rush!” he exclaimed. “Let’s do it again. What’s your name? I wanna do it again!” Clearly, the guy had more energy than one typically musters after a collision.
Police suspect this may be linked to an ongoing series of shady side hustles among Almendia’s drivers, following earlier reports of one driver turning his truck into what can only be described as a mobile bachelor pad. “This company’s in all sorts of cahoots lately,” said one investigator, shaking his head.
Unsurprisingly, Almendia’s shareholders are hitting the eject button faster than an airbag filled with coke. Stock prices? Going downhill just like that truck.