All the highs and lows of the rollercoaster capitalist life.
Friday, September 6 2024
Gold & Sharke Announces Healthcare for Employees, With One Small Catch: No Getting Sick on Company Time
Confustion and excitement as the bank introduced an unusual healthcare system. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
Former Employee Files Lawsuit Against SCB, Alleging Bank Stole Her Lunch Every Friday
In a bizarre legal twist, ex-employee Samantha Conor is suing SCB Bank, accusing the institution of repeatedly stealing her lunch every Friday. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
Kristoffer Tuck Appointed CEO of Flatkeep Following Tragic Death of Bill Tyler
Kristoffer Tuck has been named the new CEO of Flatkeep, stepping in after the sudden death of former CEO Bill Tyler. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
“Unhackable” Security System Cracked by 19-Year-Old During Hackathon
A 19-year-old Brooklyn student effortlessly hacked ViaLock’s "unhackable" system during a company-hosted hackathon. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
LynxGuard Introduces Gold-Plated Cameras, Tech Mogul Markus Pålsson Makes Massive Order
LynxGuard, a leading security technology company, has unveiled a new line of gold-plated surveillance cameras. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
Buffler Unveils New Sedan, Declares It “The Future of Mediocrity”
Buffler’s latest sedan, touted as "perfectly adequate," sends stock prices climbing. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
IDE CEO Blames Millennials and Gen Z for Declining Diamond Sales
The CEO faces backlash after blaming younger generations for the company's declining diamond sales, calling them "worthless" in a controversial statement. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
Wixia Reveals “Significant Holdings” in Cryptocurrencies
Wixia's latest financial report unveils substantial investments in cryptocurrencies, raising both eyebrows and stock prices. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
Quantz’s 200% Productivity Boost Sends Stock Soaring Despite Minimal Hiring
Quantz reports an astonishing productivity increase while keeping hiring to a minimum, boosting investor confidence. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
Andrew Kang for President? Scry Digital Stock Surges, But Not for the Reason You’d Expect
In a surprising twist that has left political pundits and investors scratching their heads, Congressman James D. Carter recently hinted in an interview that the infamous CEO of Scry Digital, Andrew Kang, might be eyeing a run for president. Read More
Thursday, September 5 2024
Almendia Faces Stock Plunge Amid Delivery Delays and Customer Complaints
Almendia, a leading supplier of household goods, is facing a significant downturn in its stock value following widespread reports of extensive delivery delays. Read More
Tuesday, July 30 2024
Booming sales in Diamond trade despite lackluster financial situation
Despite troubled economic growth on average, these NYC diamond traders are turning economic pressure, into literal diamonds.... Read More
Tuesday, June 25 2024
All dogs, no dudes – what’s up with Hawt Dawgh?
Mystery surrounds New York as the hot dog people seems to have vanished into thin air.... Read More
Thursday, May 2 2024
Intacto Insurance reports loss despite new customer growth
Earlier this year, the insurance company Intacto Insurance was popping champagne after a surge in new customers, thanks to (frankly mediocre) marketing tactics and fresh policies.... Read More