A Secure Capital Bank HR manager has been accused of turning a supply room into a late-night speakeasy. The revelation came after a sharp-eyed intern noticed some peculiar “traffic patterns” during after-hours—and it wasn’t the kind you find on spreadsheets.
In a twist that has left Secure Capital Bank’s staff questioning their HR department’s priorities, the bank’s HR manager is accused of running a full-fledged speakeasy out of the office supply room. The revelation surfaced after a late-working intern noticed the suspiciously high foot traffic in a room usually reserved for staplers, binders and the occasional water jug.
“At first, I thought everyone suddenly was super thirsty,” the intern said. “But unless water jugs come with cocktail umbrellas now, something wasn’t adding up.”
The “stationery speakeasy” allegedly featured top-shelf liquor tucked between file folders and a secret cocktail menu scribbled on the back of printer paper. Late-night patrons reportedly sipped drinks while nervously discussing performance reviews under the guise of restocking paper clips.
The HR manager has denied all accusations, claiming the extra foot traffic was due to “reorganization efforts” in the supply room. Meanwhile, the intern, who oddly no longer works at SCB, hinted otherwise. “Legally, I can’t say I was fired for discovering it. But let’s just say my termination letter was printed on the same paper they used for their cocktail napkins.”
Shareholders, however, seem less concerned about the covert bar and more about the lack of imagination. “Honestly, we’d have been fine if it were a VIP boardroom bar. But the supply room? Tacky,” one shareholder lamented.
No charges have been filed yet, but SCB’s HR team is scrambling to rebuild trust—and make sure any future “reorganization” plans don’t involve mixing drinks next to the binder clips.