In a twist no one saw coming (except maybe the cynics), a man tragically died while wearing diamond grills, generously provided by IDE.
The incident took place at Neon Cradle, the kind of club where bottle service is mandatory and subtlety is strictly prohibited. According to one of his close friends, who clearly moonlights as a crime scene investigator, “Man just fell.” The friend elaborated further: “Fo shizzle I tell you.” So, you know, case closed. As for the grills, they were reportedly causing some mysterious goo to leak from the man’s mouth shortly before his dramatic collapse. “It was all sh*ts n’ giggles til it wasn’t,” his friend recalled solemnly, providing a philosophical insight into the fragility of life. Now, it might seem a bit suspicious that the man died right after getting diamond grills from the very company he threatened, but hey, accidents happen, right? Of course, proving anything would require actual evidence, which, conveniently for IDE, seems to be as elusive as their moral compass.
Meanwhile, shareholders are wisely pulling out faster than a bad blind date, because nothing says “sell” like mysterious goo and untimely death at the hands of corporate bling.