News Archive

Saturday, June 29 2024 Clowns Outsmart Authorities

Clowns Outsmart Authorities

Todays headlines: A race to wealth, Clowns outsmart authorities & Tech giant becomes X-eptionally outspoken. Read More

Tuesday, June 25 2024 All dogs, no dudes – what’s up with Hawt Dawgh?

All dogs, no dudes – what’s up with Hawt Dawgh?

Mystery surrounds New York as the hot dog people seems to have vanished into thin air.... Read More

Tuesday, June 11 2024 AI Surveillance – An Infringement on Our Integrity?

AI Surveillance – An Infringement on Our Integrity?

With the recent uptick in artificial intelligence, the technology has now gnawed its way into public spaces – and our integrity.... Read More

Tuesday, June 4 2024 Woman finds military-grade drone equipped with guns in her ventilation

Woman finds military-grade drone equipped with guns in her ventilation

Noticing a whistling sound and poor airflow in her air ducts, Ms. Veronica Rarcher did what most people would and called a ventilation company to clean her ventilation ducts.... Read More

Friday, May 31 2024 The handle mystery finally solved

The handle mystery finally solved

After weeks of speculation and frustration, the inexplicable case with the missing door handles has finally found a resolution.... Read More

Wednesday, May 22 2024 A Golden Opportunity for Soon Defunct Bronx Police Station

A Golden Opportunity for Soon Defunct Bronx Police Station

As the result of a raid on a Brooklyn gold investment firm, the 51st precinct of the NY police has seized what they refer to as “a truckload” of gold.”... Read More

Wednesday, May 22 2024 Enough to make you Scry

Following the bold daylight raid by armed assailants against the Scry Digital NYC data center last year, CEO Andrew Kang has doubled down on his commitment to AI-based security solutions.... Read More

Wednesday, May 15 2024 A real stinker of a trial brings attention to Gun & Animal Rights

A real stinker of a trial brings attention to Gun & Animal Rights

The woman who attempted to rob a fast food restaurant using a skunk as a weapon received unexpected help from unexpected allies in gun and animal rights organizations.... Read More

Sunday, May 12 2024 Drug dealer suing NY state makes headway

Drug dealer suing NY state makes headway

Earlier in the year, Mr Harkin sued NY State for supposed antitrust violations. Now, his case is making headway in the courts.... Read More

Saturday, May 4 2024 Celebrity in hot water after pool party

Celebrity in hot water after pool party

The Gateway Report has been given exclusive access to a video of the arrest of actor Luke Liguoli after his disastrous pool party last Saturday.... Read More

Thursday, May 2 2024 Intacto Insurance reports loss despite new customer growth

Intacto Insurance reports loss despite new customer growth

Earlier this year, the insurance company Intacto Insurance was popping champagne after a surge in new customers, thanks to (frankly mediocre) marketing tactics and fresh policies.... Read More