Wednesday, August 27 2025
Rotting Landmarks: Decrepit Buildings Still Mar Prime Oceanfront
They were once symbols of progress—beachfront hotels, civic halls, and apartment towers promising luxury with a view. Now, they lean at odd angles, coated in salt-scoured graffiti, their broken windows permanently staring out at the ocean like the empty sockets of a drowned corpse. Read More
Friday, August 22 2025
“We Weren’t Guards, We Were Targets”: Ex-GenSec Officer Files Suit
Marcus Ellison thought he knew what he was signing up for. After three years in the military and another two in private security, he wasn’t easily rattled. But nothing prepared him for what it meant to wear the GenSec patch during the height of the Payday Gang’s reign. Read More
Monday, August 18 2025
GenSec Secures Lifeline as Pale Toucan Investment Increases Stake
GenSec, once the gold standard of private security along the Eastern Seaboard, has secured a fresh round of investment from Pale Toucan Investment, a New York–based firm and newest stakeholder. The infusion, announced Thursday via press release, offers a temporary reprieve for the struggling company amid mounting operational and reputational challenges. Read More
Thursday, July 31 2025
Local Garage Held Hostage by Pretentious Advertising Campaign
Locals were stunned last night to discover a towering wall of cardboard boxes blocking a local garage, right next to a sign that very clearly says “Please Do Not Block Garage.”... Read More
Thursday, July 17 2025
Rapper Yung Gold Rebrands (Again) to Secure Bling-Based Legacy
In what experts are calling “a masterclass in shameless self-reinvention,” rapper and serial name-changer formerly known as Yung Gold-Sharke has once again rebranded.... Read More
Tuesday, July 1 2025
Studio Greenlights Movie Inspired By Broken Sign
“Roadfam” will follow four strangers, one ghost dog, and a cursed Buffler car across America. Hollywood may have finally run out of ideas, and this time, it’s literal.... Read More